I’m A Victim, Are You Not?

How does society compensate for all the wrongs that have been done to us? 

The answer must differ from society to society and even in different social circles. Despite the many differences, there are also many similarities between how the victim-compensation dynamic works, but to understand the true impact we have to dig a bit deeper till we reach the first relationships we ever established; our parents.

When you mistakenly dropped your ice cream, what did your father do? Or when your brother pulled your hair or when you had a dentist appointment? 

It is most often when children are experiencing an upset, parents come to comfort their children by fixing their problem or providing them with too much comfort and compensation.  Dropped your ice cream? Here, have an extra scoop. Your brother pulled your hair? Aw, poor you. Let me give you a chocolate bar.

Would it be too out of reach to assume that these children might grow up to be adults that expect way too much from other people? I don’t think so. They are programmed to think that they will receive something once they are upset. What happens when they don’t receive it? A bigger disappointment. 

Even when a person experiences a great trauma like the loss of a parent or some sort of physical illness, cutting them too much slack would inevitably lead to character flaws and perhaps personality disorders. We must always remind ourselves and our loved ones that we are responsible for our actions not because we are cruel or trying to toughen people up, but because it is the truth and laying the grounds for a faulty understanding of life could do more harm than good.

If hurt people are constantly told that they are free to do whatever they want, and they will just simply get things, what would happen? My guess is that people will never ever stop taunting their traumas and leave their victim mindset. This issue is as political as it is personal, and today in society we deal with this greatly. Taking responsibility for yourself and your actions is one of the biggest problems of the human species, and the victim culture isn’t helping.

Victim Culture claims to make survivors out of people, when in fact it perpetuates the trauma and capitalizes on it. When you can capitalize on your pain, that is enough reason for you to hold on to it, and that would never lead to a person being a survivor. Apart from all these victims are dangerous. They are dangerous because they believe they have been wronged and there is no way to fix the situation. It might be true or not, but the mindset comes with getting a pass for personal misdemeanors. This would create a never-ending cycle: VICTIMS VICTIMIZE.

Forms of social justice are being invented each new day we wake up to. Some of these are scarier than others, and we might have to face a new kind of authoritarian regime if it is not stopped early on.

What is social justice? Or is there really justice in social justice, or is it only jealousy taking a social form? These are the questions that boggle my mind. This “justice” sometimes sounds like entitlement. We could blame everything that happens to us on society, on our family, or whatever, but at the end that is only one side of the truth and this is where we let our power and the chance for personal empowerment slide away.

Don’t let that happen.