Loyalty Kills (Sometimes)

Loyalty, a term exuding a sense of regality and virtue, is often a commendable quality highly sought after in our social interactions. This cherished attribute is, fundamentally, about the art of cultivating relationships over time, a practice deeply ingrained within us as social beings. While the dimension of societal influence does weigh differently upon genders, particularly impacting female psychosocial behavior, it is crucial to refrain from misconstruing this as a lack of loyalty in men. Instead, we find our loyalties diverging based on individual inclinations, exemplified vividly in the world of sports fans.

Loyalty can manifest readily when one’s options remain limited, and it may even be perceived as a redeeming trait, akin to kindness or amiability. It becomes simpler to forge connections with those amiable individuals, for these traits can compensate for any deficiencies in wit, skill, or gravitas. Nevertheless, in such circumstances, one may ponder the authenticity of these traits. Is this loyalty genuine? Such doubts linger.

To delve into genuine loyalty, it necessitates having alternatives and actively choosing loyalty by rejecting those alternatives. This is when loyalty truly shines. Yet, even in this scenario, one may question the merit of such a choice. Is this choice inherently moral? Does it serve a purpose? Does it elevate the individual who forgoes alternatives? Sometimes, but not universally.

In specific instances, rejecting alternatives and further investing in one’s initial choice may prove beneficial solely because the initial path was intrinsically superior. In such cases, loyalty serves the self-interest.

In contrast, there are situations where choosing loyalty leads to an increase in personal standing or influence, once the choice becomes public knowledge. Again, it’s a win. However, circumstances exist in which acting loyally results in a lose-lose scenario. While one may argue that achieving exalted moral status is also a win, in the long run, this can become counterproductive and even decadent.

Exalted moral status may result from acts of heroism or self-sacrifice, especially when the power dynamic is unfavorable. Sometimes, it combines both aspects. However, self-sacrifice often contributes unwittingly to perpetuating injustices in the world. The true path to a more just society lies in our pursuit of personal betterment. By taking our rightful place in the world, we contribute to creating a just society merely by our existence.

Exalted moral status is a tool that grants power by proxy. When we experience outrage, it signifies a higher status and, consequently, a degree of power. Of course, this moral outrage must be recognized or appreciated by society; otherwise, it’s merely personal anger to grapple with individually.

Within families, close friendships, and nations, shared values and group norms serve as unifying forces. These norms can either be advantageous or detrimental. As individuals, it becomes our responsibility to discern the situation and act accordingly. Our most excellent loyalty should ultimately be directed toward ourselves. While this notion may make sense rationally, emotionally, and even biologically, we may undermine ourselves to avoid the label of disloyalty.

Consider a group of friends, each leading relatively average lives, earning a stable income, and engaging in weekly video game sessions. Now, imagine one group member who decides to pursue an entrepreneurial venture, embark on a new career path, or explore alternative avenues. Such a choice creates a rift between this individual and the group, spotlighting the disparities in their pursuits. This often results in guilt, FOMO (fear of missing out), and other bitter emotions. Paradoxically, the person who diverges from the group may contribute more significantly to society. In such cases, loyalty can hinder self-actualization. Yet, choosing to alter or expand one’s social circle is not always an obvious decision, as the fear of solitude or a lack of alternative social connections may compel individuals toward self-destructive choices. In these moments, loyalty can become a barrier to personal growth.

While some may extol heroes who make ultimate sacrifices, driven by loyalty to a group or nation, we must remember that such actions often constitute a trade. It’s a transaction that purchases eternal remembrance and a place within the annals of culture, effectively securing a form of immortality. It’s essential to distinguish between martyrdom and heroism, a topic deserving of a separate discussion.

TL;DR Loyalty emerges as a long-term social strategy, ideally exercised with mindful consideration rather than unwavering devotion. It encompasses a complex interplay of choices, morality, self-interest, and societal dynamics, making it a subject ripe for contemplation and exploration.