5 Skills 4 Freedom

Freedom is such a big word…

Everyone has a different take on freedom, but I don’t believe it to be a subjective concept. Freedom is essentially being able to do something without things holding you back.

I would limit freedom to negative freedoms, which are the building block of a healthy society, whereas positive freedoms have to be achieved individually. 

Individuals or rather lack of individuality may demand positive freedoms to be provided by the society, but I don’t think that is such a good approach, as by the virtue of ‘being’ we are not entitled to capacities(positive freedoms). 

To understand the difference between these two concepts, almost all liberals would suggest reading Isaiah Berlin’s work. I truly believe and contemplate that creating the capabilities we desire is a human process and that shall not be taken away from us. Struggles make us human as much as happiness and achievements, and a neutered way of life free of struggle, filled with complete sterility is not a desirable outcome. 

While in this blog post I will talk about must-have skills to set yourself free, I wanted to declare my stance on the topic beforehand. My tips and experience might make this process easier for you but still, you will struggle as well, which is also an essential part of your personal evolution. When utilized properly, the struggle can be the best thing. To make it clear though; I’m not an eccentric claiming pain is good for you, and you should inflict pain upon yourself in any way -no, on the contrary, I would want you to build a happy, prosperous life for yourself which requires facing the demons, hardships, and struggles and not running away from them because this is the pitfall of so many people who hold the potential to be great.

Financial Literacy

You may love money or you may hate it. The reality is, the world revolves around money and if you want to find the ever-changing truth of society, just follow the money. Fighting reality rarely yields results but manipulating it always does. 

How different the world would be if this one important skill was taught in schools?

Most middle-class people will have at least one opportunity in their life to have some sort of lump sum money come into their hands, but when you have no idea what to do with it, the funds are consumed easily by shopping lists and other expenses. With education and skills, you can earn money and get regular paychecks, but that won’t make you financially free.

Financial literacy means knowing how to save without being frugal or sacrificing things you love. Learning how to prioritize. Knowing you can not have your cake and eat it too but if you plan carefully enough and prioritize, you can have your cake. If you want to travel the world, you can, but perhaps you won’t be able to buy expensive clothes. Prioritizing what is important can give you insight into what you can choose and what you can leave out, which results in a more meaningful life, carefully curated and intentionally created. 

It also means you will know how to take care of your money. You don’t have to be a market whiz, but you will know when to save and when to spend, what to invest and how to accumulate. Financial Freedom is a big part of setting yourself free. Many people struggle with this even if they make a lot of money. When you don’t have a clear purpose or goal, no matter how much money you make, you are guaranteed to end up in shambles. Be intentional, which brings me to our second skill.

Intentionality 

When we’re asked about it, we all have goals but when it comes to actualizing those goals we don’t have a clear plan. We wake up and do what needs to be done or whatever comes up. While I’m a strong believer that, at times you need to go with the flow, meet new people, get out of your routine in an unexpected way, but in order to get out of it first, you need to build it. 

You will need systems and intentionality with every step of your process, and you will need to see the bigger picture in play. Are you studying for an exam or while studying for your exam can you see how that fits into that bigger picture? Are you eating healthy because now that’s the trend or can you envision yourself twenty years later, preserving your vitality and increasing your longevity? 

We do many things every day. For social acceptance, for money, for people. Instead, we should take a hard look at ourselves and not just do things, but do things with strong intentions. Every conversation we have, every breath we take, this is something we should keep in mind. Intention, intention, intention. 

Of course intentions, goals and purposes may change, but never forget that intentions, goals, and purposes are there to serve you not the other way around. 

Adaptability

Routines and systems are not your enemies, despite the common consensus that it is. At times, you have to leave your comfort zone and your routines, but after that period you will have upgraded and better routines. Systems are ever-improving, and they are intended to be that way.

To achieve goals and actualize your purpose you will need consistency and systems, but the trick is to know, not every day is the same. You are not a robot, you can not wake up at the same time every day and do the same things. No, that won’t work, and you will be so bored it will make you sick. The catch is having dynamic systems. While your routine and your system will serve your goals, it won’t consist of doing the same things day after day. Also, seasons change, our moods change, sometimes we relocate, get into relationships, and so we have to be able to adapt accordingly. When you develop your adaptability skills, no matter where you are or what’s going on in your life, you will be able to come through every day.

In order to be adaptable, first, you need to really get to know yourself and then build yourself. You will have to recognize your body, your moods, your capabilities, and how they are affected by what’s going on. What’s the best time for you to work or create? What is the optimal plan for you? If you can crack your own code, you won’t need one fits for all recipes from gurus and masters. It is always beneficial to get some advice from pros, but in the end, you need to steer your own boat. You have to try and fail several times before you find your rhythm. If you’re upset because you’ve failed several times, think of this: the sooner you fail, the sooner you’ll succeed.

Self-Teaching

We all go through some sort of training or education. Whether it be college or a job. While we learn, we also get the idea that learning is a passive thing we receive from someone else, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Researching and self-teaching are things that go hand in hand. Even though the worldwideweb era has its downsides this is one of the major perks. You can find all the information you want at the tip of your fingers. Undoubtedly the harder part comes later when you have to sift and sort the plethora of info out there and that is the skill you need to master. 

Learning is one thing, but knowing how to learn is superior to anything you can ever learn. It is the key to open all doors. Even if you’re not the academic type, this is a skill you need. Want to scale your business? Do your research. Want to improve your relationship? Research. Spirituality? Read and learn. 

Naturally, self-teaching doesn’t only consist of googling. Sometimes introspection and letting yourself absorb all the knowledge and giving it time to mature with it is also a part of this process. 

Being Alone

A couple of years back while I was traveling Europe I’ve done all sorts of sightseeing, but when it came to eating I tried to grab a snack and eat alone. I never went to restaurants. It wasn’t because I was traveling on a budget or trying to save time, I was simply TOO embarrassed to sit alone and dine. 

I’ve always been fond of spending time with myself and being alone, thinking, writing, introspecting, but being alone outside, and doing activities didn’t sit well with me. I felt weirded out. 

Most public spaces are designed to be enjoyed with your friends or family, but learning how to roam alone is the crux to improve your relationships. This might sound strange but hear me out…

Our relationships usually arise from fear. Our family, our first friends… And then there comes identity. With them, we become someone, and alone we’re nobody. A person does not exist until recognized by another. We become attached. At times, we develop false identities; intentionally or unintentionally. 

I would like to acknowledge being okay with being alone by yourself and being alone in the public are two different things. The first one is more about self-reliance, and the second one is about caring what other people think of you. I have always been self-reliant, but I guess what people thought about me had an impact back then, even though I didn’t realize it at the time. 

When you master this skill, your relationships will grow and improve because they will be based on enthusiasm rather than need or fear, and you won’t have to worry about acting like someone you’re not. You’ll mature as a person and your social circle will mature with you.

Acceptance 

You may have heard of the Serenity Prayer. It goes like this 

‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can,

and wisdom to know the difference.’

Stoics love this prayer. Even though I’ve distanced myself from stoicism a while back(to be precise when I was 14), I’m together with them on this. It is a good prayer even if you don’t believe in god. 

When you learn how to accept the things you have no power over, you will have more power with regard to things you can actually change. 

Concerning responsibility and powerlessness, society has swung from one end of the spectrum to the other, but this doesn’t reflect reality. Both ends are distorted versions of the truth. 

We have to understand, a lot of things in our lives are under our control. Some directly, some indirectly. Our moods can be an example of this. If we choose to go to bed or spend time outside instead of doom scrolling, then it is likely for us to be in a better mood and be productive. Of course, after eating poorly, being on social media all day long, and treating yourself bad you are bound to feel awful, but if you think of the decisions you’ve made prior to feeling bad you can realize your control over your mood. 

The trick is to see what gives you power; doing something or not doing it. 

Some might disagree, but I sometimes think there lies power in passivity and doing nothing as well. 

In order to determine what is more empowering to you in every situation, you have to first see where your power resides or how are you giving it away. Acceptance is a big part of this. 

I’ve always been a fighter and a go-getter, but at times this has done me more harm than good. Nevertheless, I was wired that way. I was so focused on getting what I wanted, I didn’t even make a cost-benefit analysis. People always say being a go-getter is something to be aspired to, and I agree -partially-

The thing is, you may get what you want, but you can sacrifice so much in the process of it, if nothing your time and energy, and there are things you can not change despite how many times you try, like death… 

Facing the loss of a loved one has been one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced, but in hindsight, it made me grow as a person. I learned acceptance. It taught me, sometimes the wiser thing to do is not to fight but to accept. Maybe I could write about this in the future, but this is also how I overcame my eating disorder. It is a true gem of skill to master. 

Resourcefulness 

I started this post by mentioning finances. When people think of getting something, money is usually how it is done. While this might work in most cases, being resourceful also means thinking out of the box when it comes to resourcing things.

Also, there are things money can’t buy, but whenever I mention that I receive cynical backlash, so I’ll pass talking on that subject for now.

There are times, money is tight, or it is also possible that you’re a frugal person and the chance is your problem can’t be solved with money(it happens), resourcefulness is how you deal with this by using things at hand you never thought could be useful. 

The average person has so much at their hands, and they never realize it could actually be valuable. We’re accustomed to things being one thing when they could be another and better yet they could serve a purpose or satisfy a need. Mastering this skill will make you invincible. You will find a way out of every scenario(maybe not death).

Networking 

We talked about resources and resourcefulness. Human; living people are by far the most valuable of all resources. Talking about people as resources may rub you the wrong way, but it is true. Human Capital is the best capital. 

If you know 100 powerful people, you are a powerful person. It is as simple as that. You know what they say about whom you surround yourself with, it is true, and it is paramount. 

While you network, don’t just go and network with anybody. Be picky. Choose people whom you can benefit and who can benefit you. There is nothing wrong with personal gain, but it has to be a transaction. When a group of people or even two people come together to create something and if it benefits all parties involved, miracles are created. If you keep on playing a zero-sum game with people, you will end up losing, because human relationships aren’t just one interaction, it is a series of interactions. So, play with everyone, respect your playmates and build. 

At times, people will screw you over. You will feel cheated, you will feel used, and you will feel like you’re the stupid one, when in fact you’re not. Have integrity and keep it. In the end, you will have more people you can trust and more wins in your pocket. 

Survival 

Life has a lot of ups and downs. Some you can prepare for and some you can’t.  I can’t see any scenario that can prepare you for the death of a loved one or your own. There may be things that can make the process easier, but definitely not better. 

However, we can prepare ourselves for other things like surviving in the wild, or surviving market crashes, living with scarce resources, etc. 

If you’re an optimist like me, you always tend to see the positive face of things.  Which lacks being grounded in reality. In order to have some power over reality, you need to first face what’s coming. 

I really believe most of us see the cues of what’s coming, but we deliberately ignore it because the narrative in our minds is so strong. We basically lie to ourselves or distort the truth. I’ve done my fair share of this, and it has hurt me enough, this is why I would suggest you do otherwise. 

If your relationship is going to end, it will end whether you take the hints and prepare yourself or not. The same goes for market crashes and financial difficulties. If it is going to rain, it will rain regardless of your thoughts or feelings, the best you can do is to bring an umbrella. 

Communication

The above-mentioned things are deeply connected with communication skills. Being a good communicator and being able to read body language to some degree can help you with all your relationships, especially professional ones. 

This doesn’t mean you have to be a master manipulator. Definitely not. Seek depth and mutual gain in relationships.

Of course, communication doesn’t necessarily mean relationships. It is also media. Most of us have social media accounts. Master some sort of communication methods, it could be written, verbal or visual. Try to understand people, what is happening in the world, and how to communicate your perspective on it. 

Most people who have something to say suffer because they haven’t mastered one form of communication. A lot of academics prefer written over verbal, for example. Which is okay. Choose one, master it. It will help you with everything in your life. I promise. 

One final thing, most people try to impose ideas on others, which doesn’t go well. Try to genuinely understand and share your excitement about your ideas. Do it with enthusiasm, not patronization…

Have a good one!